Sunday, April 11th, 2004
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8:43 pm - i wont be writing in this anymore..........
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Friday, April 9th, 2004
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8:42 pm - today jill made my nipples tingle
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Thursday, April 8th, 2004
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1:18 pm - To import ortho claims for check printing into mas90:
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i am sitting in a little cubicle as of right now......and have been for quite some while......... i have been cleaning up files....... botched files....... i guess some dumbfuck decided that checks for "zero dollars and zero cents" should be taken note of........ well theres about one million gazillion files. and the past couple of hours have consisted of HIGLIGHT-DELETE-HIGHLIGHT-DELETE-HIGHLIGHT-DELETE............
maybe its the fact that this cheapfuck office depot chair will not recline, forcing me to sit upright, straight.......... or maybe its the lady with teased blonde hair that keeps coming into my sectioned off area..... [see those two grey walls bitch? back the fuck off you're on my territory.....] she keeps coming in to tell me witty little anecdotes. i really dont care about what happened to your son in Arizona.
anyway.......... today has made me realize that when i grow up, i really dont want a job, and i will avoid getting one at all costs.
first off, fuck the whole corporate office building bullshit... who would want to come into this shithole every single day, ruin their eyes by staring blankly (and even moreso, pointlessly) into a screen for hours and hours......... numbers......... ones and zeros............. until they hang themselves from the same ceiling fans that spread the smell of rotten chinese takeout through all of the office vents. i'd be dead in a week.
second off, fuck the idea of owning something of your own. nothing is your own anymore. nothing is original. oh, you're starting your own business you say? fascinating. but it isn't. because i bet if you look up whatever bullshit you're trying to start off in your garage in the phone book there will be a number you can call to get someone to do whatever it is much faster, and much more efficiently. and i bet you they don't work in their garage, i bet you they work in one of the huge aforementioned buildings. yeah, the kind that smell like rotten chinese food.
at least there are the artists. people like zoe.............. zoe, as an artist, may very well one day be rich and famous. she may very well be a total flop. this is a risk she is willing to take. she is aware that there are better job opportunities out there. but she knows what she is doing. zoe is very motivated. not to mention motivational. Jason too. Jason dapples in film. he could be a huge failure too. but these people... they know what they're doing. they know what they want.
i really like it when people do what makes them happy.
unfortunately, i seriously fucking hate art. and film. ok, i love art and film, but i really dont want to have anything to do with the production of either because i hate things that are time consuming, troublesome, involve a lot of social contact, require a clear mind every now and then............ and i do not enjoy creating shit.
so basically, i'm kinda fucked for choosing a future career.
but........ i am a clever girl..... and i'm good at getting out of situations. i'm also very good at manipulation, and lies. i'm not one to be fucked with.
this leaves me with only one option. when i grow up, i am going to fuck people over. bad. real bad.
stealing, fraud, and drugs. this is all i can see myself being any good at.
and i'm happy. and excited. because at least i'll never be stuck in a place like this.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: phones ringing and shuffling papers
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(17 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
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5:57 pm
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Monday, April 5th, 2004
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10:02 pm
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Sunday, April 4th, 2004
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9:15 pm - BUMMED!!!!!!!!!!
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i love how i just deleted my whole entry! fuck my stupid life............ lets try this again........
( cool motherfuckers )
best of all was the shirt i wore today. god i am officially the coolest.
i really amaze myself sometimes. go ahead and tell me how hot i am.
badass...................
current mood:  chill.
current music: tears for fears
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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3:48 am - oh fuck.................. its 3:48 am......
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Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
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2:41 am - oh fuck..... already forgetting things...........
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i feel SO much better.
no really............ and you make me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy.
and i want to be with you all of the time.
i wish i weren't such a stoner so i had the ability to remember some of the lovely things we try so hard to remember.....
but it doesn't matter........ nothing matters.......
except for you and i...... that's all that matters to me.......
ITS 2:46 IN THE MORNING............. GO TO SLEEP.
current mood:  it's _____day i'm in love
current music: blur
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(comment on this)
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Friday, April 2nd, 2004
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7:07 pm - Subject: (optional)
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i feel like everything around me is crashing.
tomorrow is going to be pretty bad.......
whatev......
current mood: contemplative
current music: nothing
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
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11:46 pm - TITTIE BAR
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TYLER HUMER
WE ARE SO BFF.
holy shit tomorrow is going to be sooooooooooooooooooooooo fun.
current mood:  crazy
current music: hahahahahahahahaha
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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9:29 pm - hm.
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today i had to go to lameass school which was lame.
than it was weird because chris got my mom to let me go play. so i did.
i love these boys............... "look MORE metal"
did a lot of chain smoking.
TYLER H showed up at my house. i love you kid lets chillax.
now i'm waiting for a delivery. i hope it comes.
i had a vanilla chai mmmmmmm
i need some real sleep for reals.
i'm lonesome........ i can't believe i saw jason yesterday.... it feels like its been one million years. one million.
current mood:  drained
current music: tears for fears -pale shelter
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
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2:02 pm - i stare4rfwh;wghnernkbregefaangrnaehoiaihoreginlgernliae
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She was going with a cinematographer
Everyone knew that he was really a pornographer
They went down to the dance and grind
And everybody was feeling fine
She was talking with syllable lisp
And everybody she knew was gonna get the twist
And they all went down and did the porqupine
And everybody was feeling high
You are so hot
I would like to steal your digits
And I'm so hung up on it
I would like to
Move away from it
We are so caught up with things
We should pull eachother's triggers
And I'm off
She was going with a cinematographer
Everyone knew that he was really a pornographer
They went down to the dance and grind
And everybody was feeling fine
She was talking with syllable lisp
And everybody she knew was gonna get the twist
And they all went down and did the porqupine
And everybody was feeling high
I've got a girlfriend out of the city
I know I like her, I think she is pretty (X4)
Last call!
It's closing time
I'm on the road to god don't know
My brain's the burger and my heart's the charcoal
It's closing time
i started to to listen to this and my eyes started to water and i got really excited and started laughing hysterically for no reason/.
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(comment on this)
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1:31 pm - YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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i never noticed how beautiful oprah's eyes are.
current mood:  bored
current music: Lounge- modest mouse
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, March 29th, 2004
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9:37 pm - wasting time. . . . . . . .
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INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this list.
2. Bold the things that are true. Yeah and the one that aren't true you add crap about yourself.
01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I don't trust alot of people
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books
06. I'm always broke at the worst time
07. My dog is a lesbian.
08. I have too many crushes
09. I have no chance with any of them
10. I am undecided about everything
11. I've had my shoes for four years now
12. weed.
13. I am an extremely chillax person.
14. I'm in a band
15. I don't like my band
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a lot to learn
19. Have the worst luck
20. I believe in love.
21. If i dont have hot chocolate i stab myself in the face with a popsicle stick.
22. I have four million secrets
23. A Dingo ate my baby.
24. I like my pancakes with peanut butter.
25. I hate GIRLS.
26. I suck at Physics
27. Can't hold grudges
28. I would hate to be famous
29. I am not a morning person
30. I should wear glasses
31. Boys whose names do not start with a J and rhyme with "mason" bore me..
32. I have potential
33. I know I'm ugly
34. I have no chance of getting into a university
35. I can't stand onions
36. I'm very naive
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing
38. I smoke more than i should.
39. Zoe smells.
40. GOOD
41. wow how fucking boring is this shit?
42. I cuss too much.
43. My name is Becca Lewis.
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight
45. I love Filipino Bakeries
46. I have Swedish relatives
47. I hate my name
48. I spend too much time on the computer
49. I plan on finishing high school.
50. I am mildly attractive.
52. I'd like to be more original
53. I've lied
54. I like Museums
55. I enjoy the presence of good company
56. I wonder what happens when you die
57. I like to draw in the dark
58. I like to draw period
59. I play bass
60. I suck at the bass
61. I love to write
62. I like changes
63. I hate going to class
64. I blow all my money on drugs
65. I have no future plans
66. I am unmotivated
67. I am part of an organized religion.
68. My favorite color is black
69. I ran into many a screen door at many a family barbeque.
70. I learned to speak english through the TV
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little
72. I should be doing somehting else rather than writing this
73. I am a huge loser
74. I like soy milk
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend
76. I have vinyls but no turntable
77. Reading bothers me.
78. I don't trust newspapers
79. I like debating
80. I like to be by myself a lot
81. I'm not very social..anymore
82. The police scare the fuck out of me.
83. I have a third eye
84. I'm so punk
85. I don't fully trust any religion
86. I'm too irresponsible to own a car.
87. Flowers make me happy
88. I love Japanese People
89. I'm very disorganized
90. I used to take Prozac
91. I moisturize on a regular basis. No rough elbows here.
92. I love High School.
93. I have no friends.
94. I can't do cartwheels
95. I am a sloth. a big fat sloth. mrahhhh.
96. I'm sarcastic
97. I think my hair is annoying
98. I lived in the 909
99. I live in a palace.
100. I can remember things that happened more than 3 hours ago.
current mood:  morose
current music: mewithoutyou
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, March 28th, 2004
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10:33 pm - beautiful
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i am so so so glad i saw you.
i walked to the car with a smile on my face.
but the smile soon faded when i realized i would come home to an empty bed.
dear jason i miss you love becca
current mood:  lonely
current music: close to me
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, March 25th, 2004
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11:16 pm
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um i make some pretty cool stuff..........
i feel really ugly right now.... but hey i still make cool fucking stuff.
my parents tooooooooooootally caught me smoking weed. and they tooooootally dont care. TOO BAD I'M OUT. but tomorrow is friday. sweeeeeeeet.
d00d i am so seeing Jason tomorrow maybe. score.
echhhhh i have brushed my teeth 7 times today.
um..... dear hair. GROW. love becca.
current mood:  cranky
current music: HORSE! the band- cutsman
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(comment on this)
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7:26 am - good morning
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um yeah...... last night was the first schoolnight i've gotten more than 6 hours of sleep since............. a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time ago. i passed out at like 11:30 with my phone under my pillow but i guess i still didnt wake up. now i'm wide awake and totally ready for school...... well i would be if i had done any of my homework/makeup work............ well...... i've got my sneak-a-toke so i'm fuckin ready for school.
god i so hate my life...... i miss jason. Jason, i'm sorry. I didn't want to fall asleep it just happened.
ok........ um................. my septum ring is back in WTF?
i guess those pictures looked good to me........ last night........
i'm going on a crash diet.
i am a fucking cow.
fuck weight.
p.s. i am also quitting smoking. baaaaaaad combination.
current mood:  not stoned
current music: mellow yellow
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
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9:29 pm
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bored.............. i put my septum ring back in.......................
( yep. )
current mood: high
current music: sock hop
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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4:40 pm - i want to go to the beach
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will somebody please take me to the beach? i really want to go have a smoke..... i am tired of being at home....... this week is dragging on and on, and today was almost as long as monday and tuesday combined. longgggggggg. today James Elliot, a quiet boy i have never talked to, made his little friend ask me if i had a boyfriend....................... "why yes i do," I said. "are you sure?" the fellow asked. "quite." I said. "are you stoned?" asked the fellow.
Mr. Elliot gets made fun of a lot for using a palm pilot and carrying a camera bag everywhere............. poor boy. i saw him taking pictures of flowers.
um....................................................... smoked a lot of weed today....... now i'm bored and i want a smoke.
I miss Boston George. this is no fun.
i had hot chocolate and now i think i'll take a nap.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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10:59 pm
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i totally forgot to tell you all how much i seriously seriously love maura....... maura, thank you so much for rescuing me!!!!!!!!!!!
did you guys know we are the new hilton sisters....... see we even correspond.
( BAM )
current mood:  amused
current music: scanner VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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smelltheroses's journal
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